we are alone in our conciousness.


feeble attempts at making connections go
unfulfilled;

we seek to remedy the inherent
lonlieness that accompanies the
impermanence and fragility that is
the human condition.




or, at least, to ignore it.

stuck. sticking to sensibility separated from "happy." [whatever that is.] stuck, sticking to pragmatism and other big words relying on false gods and oppressive expectations following through with plans unsuitable. stuck, sticking to need-to-pay-the-rent-with-the-job-i-hate can't-afford-to-go-back-to-school, i-need-this-to-keep-my-insurance, will-never-feel-whole-or-content. stuck, sticking to nothing. moving nowhere. experiencing nothing. stuck with a college degree that got me nothing. a job that gets us nothing. a city that offers us nothing. stuck, let go of dreams when they told me i should. let go of plans when they told me i should. let go of me when they told me i should. wholly fully truly awesomely stuck.

society

an organized group of persons associated together for religious, benevolent, cultural, scientific, political, patriotic, or other purposes.

a highly structured system of human organization for large-scale community living that normally furnishes protection, continuity, security, and a national identity for its members.

those with whom one has companionship, companionship; company.

benevolent

characterized by or expressing goodwill or kindly feelings.

desiring to help others; charitable.

intended for benefits rather than profit.

health

the general condition of the body or mind with reference to soundness and vigor.

soundness of body or mind; freedom from disease or ailment.

care

protection; charge.

to watch over; be responsible for.

to act on; deal with; attend to.

society.

more

foer. just because.

"...the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and the burning buildings,


it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, i don't know, but it's so painful to think,


and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking bring me? i think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it."

from el&ic, page 17

"Even though I'm not anymore, I used to be an atheist, which means I didn't believe in things that couldn't be observed...It's not that I believe in things that can't be observed now, because I don't. It's that I believe things are extremely complicated."



"I turned on the radio and found a station playing 'Hey Jude.' It was true, I didn't want to make it bad. I wanted to take the sad song and make it better. It's just that I didn't know how."


--foer

***

...

direction is arbitrary,
unless you're talking time.
traveling forward is the only true endeavor
that anyone can claim to be legitimate.
because rotating on a sphere in one of an
endless possibilities of galaxies
throws off one's sense of direction.
and when traveling in an eliptical pattern,
every direction is the same as every other direction.
clockwise verses counterclockwise,
north verses south,
east, west, up, down,
it's all relative,
none of it's relative,
and we have no clue as to who we are
or where we are
or what we are.

i read it somewhere...1.26 seconds. so what happens to those seconds? will we ever make up for them? will birthday minutes change?


will the end of the world come 1.26 seconds later than planned?
and what of the beginning of the next?

crazed.

nostalgia. longing for the past. comes from greek. returning home. pain, ache. idealistic. liberation. apparently, the act or fact of gaining equal rights or full social or economic opportunities for a particular group.


insane. not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.
artist. not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.
insane. characteristic of that which is not artistic.
artist.


health. the overall condition of an organism at a given time. soundness, especially of body or mind. freedom from disease or abnormality. condition of optimal wellness. community. similar character; agreement; identity. sharing, participation, and fellowship.



life. the general or universal condition of human existence; a particular aspect of existence.


existence. continued state of being.


liberty. freedom from control, interference, obligation, restriction, hampering conditions, etc.; power or right of doing, thinking, speaking, etc., according to choice.

happiness. contentment. contentment. satisfaction; ease of mind. satisfaction. fulfillment; gratification. the state of being satisfied; contentment.